Look out, she’s got a ruler!
OK
Today’s blog was going to be about the ‘grammar of video’.
But not after yesterday’s experience with American Airlines.
We were flying from St. Kitts to Miami, and then on to NY, all with American Airlines.
At St Kitts we went through the usual security check. Shoes off, computers in separate trays, belts, keys. You know the drill.
OK.
At the security check, the woman in charge (so to speak) asked me to open my carry on bag. (I try to avoid checking baggage with American Airlines based on prior experience). She took out my plastic zip-loc bag with my liquids – you know, shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream. She said I had more than the ‘legal limit’, (1 quart) so she took away my Crest vanilla (which is increasingly hard to find). I said she would like its minty fresh flavor. She smiled.
Then I was told I could go to the gate.
At the gate, American Airlines had set up yet another ‘security check’. I know because all the ‘security’ people were wearing American Airlines Staff vests where it said American Airlines in big letters.
They had tables in front of them and before we could get into the waiting area, we had to go through yet another ‘security’ check, this time by hand.
The American Airlines ‘professionals’ opened very bag and pawed through every single thing we had. Every single thing. What they were looking for I had no idea, which is OK because they had no idea either. I know because I asked them.
They made us turn on our laptops.
I asked what would have happened if the battery in my laptop was dead….
Long pause…Â He stared at me as though he were a student in an algebra class just asked a really hard question.
The security professional told me he would have had to have gotten a screwdriver and removed the battery.
Correct! (I have no idea. It makes no sense to me, but the whole TSA thing makes no sense to me).
Then they got to my Leica M9, which although digital is really closer to a mechanical film camera.
The Security Professional was greatly disturbed that although it has a screen on the back, you can’t see the images on the screen because you have to look through the viewfinder to take a photo. Hmm.. this sounds very very suspicious. I offered to take a photo with the camera to prove it was a camera and not some kind of Leica bomb, and this really set off his alarm bells, because, as we all know, it is illegal to take photos at a Security Checkpoint, and who would want to do that except…. A Terrorist!!!
Fortunately, some photos from the wedding I had attended the day before seemed to placate him. Somewhat.
Then, we got to my plastic bag with my liquids. The one that the first Security Check had removed my Crest Vanilla from, because it was a security risk.
My plastic bag was not the regulation quart size. It must have been a liter instead and this now rendered all my toiletries illegal and in need of immediate confiscation.
I pointed out that I had just passed Security Check number one where they had accepted the bag but removed the Crest Vanilla.
My Security Professional told me that the Security Professional at Checkpoint 1 did not know what she was doing.
He knew the rules.
So I pointed out to him that if I rolled an inch off the bottom of the liter bag it would become a quart bag. He had to think about this one for a minute. OK, he said, but I would need to tape it. Did I have any tape?
As he had pawed through all my things quite carefully, he knew I didn’t carry tape with me. I asked if he had any tape. He said he did not.
We were at loggerheads.
He told me that the magazine stand, just a few feet away, sold plastic bags that they approved of.
He told me he would wait while I bought a regulation plastic bag.
The bags they sold, (at 50 cents each) were the Glad Sandwich Bags, not a quart, closer to a pint really.
I came back with the ‘regulation’ bag, and pointed out that it was not a quart size, but somewhat smaller.
He said that these were the only bags he would accept.
I said, ‘could y0u pour a quart of milk into this thing’?
He said he had no idea what a quart of milk looked like.
So now we had a problem. All of my things would not fit into the sandwich bag.
And he told me I was only allowed to keep the things that would fit.
As the Crest Vanilla was now gone, I asked him what of my things he would like to have for himself.
In the end, he took my shaving cream, my razor (which while not a liquid seemed to have a sharp blade) and my deodorant.
All of this took about a half hour.
Well, I think we’re all a lot safer on American Airlines now, don’t you.
And their staff will now at least be clean-shaven, have better teeth and smell fresher.
Is this a waste of time and money?
Something tells me it is, but I don’t want to complain too loudly, lest I be placed on the “Do Not Fly” list.
23 Comments
Michael Rosenblum April 08, 2010
Here is the totally crap and worthless response I just got from American Airlines:
April 7, 2010
Dear Mr. Rosenblum:
We have received your email. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to address your comments.
Security regulations can vary from country to country, and they are constantly changing. We are required to comply with each and every government required security procedure in order to continue service to a given country. While I acknowledge your perceptions of the application of these security measures, we must apply whatever procedures are required.
Mr. Rosenblum, thank you again for providing your comments. I hope that we are able to welcome you aboard again soon.
Sincerely,
Russell Shady
Customer Relations
American Airlines
fosca April 07, 2010
rahahahaha
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/8604663.stm
steve April 06, 2010
on a past trip i was given “the massage” at every stop, there were three in all.
they swabbed each of the compartments of my shoulder bag as well.
all but one of the tsa people were pretty cool to deal with. the proverbial one in every crowd was about 1/2 my age and had quite a few more zits than i recall having at that age. i tactfully mentioned that if he took the time to swab his face with one of those cotton disks soaked with alcohol a few times a day he could have a nice complexion.
PF BENTLEY April 06, 2010
To the person in St Kitts who obviously took this incident the wrong way – I have known Michael since 1993. There is not a racist bone in his body. Furthermore, we are subject to the same TSA personnel here in the US who are white, brown, black, yellow and whatever else. It does not matter.
Some use their heads logically and are professional, some do not.
Did you know that you can take a 7 inch scissors in your carry-on, but not a 1 inch Swiss Army Knife? (That nice little one with the handy little scissors) You tell me which can do more damage? This just one of the little crazy rules that do not make sense.
fosca April 06, 2010
just as an addition and for an easy read
http://duncan.house.gov/2009/06/22062009.shtml
Michael Rosenblum April 06, 2010
astonishing
fosca April 06, 2010
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrKvweNugnQ
unfortunately the link i sent is all german language but i guess you will get the gist. let me just give some direct translations for your ease of understanding.
zünder = detonator
thermit = thermite
watch the lot, it is a good laugh altogether. the show was broadcast on the german zdf. there is also the security-adviser mr.bosbach of the current german government present.
what this all sums up to is that if you really want you can.
Lilee Fell April 06, 2010
I did not see any signs of disrespect by Mr. Rosenbaum in his story. Change St.Kitts for any other location and read the story again……it is about the silliness of this whole thing. I am all for the add’l security and scrutinizing of passengers, but the hassle over the bag is a bit much. I have been traveling w. A.A. for years, fortunately, I have never dealt w. this. Other than a rude and angry stewardess in business class from San Fran to N.Y. “You want food?” and then promptly asked me every 2 minutes if I was finished eating while I was attempting to enjoy my meal, that is the worst of it…..thank heavens. I try to ignore the fact of how old there fleet is till I use the rest of my miles up.
Michael Rosenblum April 05, 2010
This has absolutely NOTHING to do with race, and everything to do with intelligence. Putting your grammatical errors aside, how do you know I am not a black man to begin with, and what possible difference would it make? This is about competence, plain and simple. Your job is to encourage people to come to St Kitts and not treat them like criminals. There is not another airport in the world that treats guests the way you do. If you want to build a tourist industry this is very much the wrong way to start, but a great way to finish.
Renee Taylor April 06, 2010
Oh please. If you go to another airport you would receive the same treatment. Nobody has to assume that you are white because you affixed your picture to your blog unless it is a fake. You people seem to think when you go to the small islands that you should be treated like some kind of royalty. You made this article seem like the security in St Kitts is incompetent. Imagine you come on here and boasting about your gadgets and electronics like they only exist where you come from. By the way you are just one out of the many tourist who go to St Kitts and decides to be abnoxious. Get over yourself. I guess if you were actually SOMEBODY it would really matter.
Michael Rosenblum April 06, 2010
Jeez Renee
Everybody is SOMEBODY,and EVERYBODY is entitle to be treated with respect, not just the SOMEBODY’s in your mind.
Disrespected April 05, 2010
Why didn’t you try treating the St.Kitts Security Personnel with respect! It’s a-holes like you, who thinks your status in American society makes you better than the mimimum wager trying to keep your ass safe while you cross the Caribbean Sea. You blog comes across as if you expected you white complextion should give you a free pass in any third world country, and you are better than the person who served you cocktail at your wedding here in St.Kitts.
You have a lot to learn, but obviously you learnt nothing while here in St.Kitts.
Pencilgod April 05, 2010
A cynic could suggest that the airlines have used the dead from 9/11 as an excuse to wrought money from the flying public… it seems there are no bounds to their greed.
Avery April 05, 2010
If the airlines could find crews to man the flights I think people would be willing to take more of a “risk” by flying on flights with less security.
90% of the cargo (not suitcases) that airlines carry are not screened by TCA or any other agency anyway. This cargo could contain “bad” things that make “bad” things happen and this unscreened cargo fly’s every on practically every flight right under your seat.
Give people a choice, they can get in line and go through the type of absurd security we have now or let them get in the express line and go through a metal detector and maybe get sniffed by a dog on the way to their flight. Less security but a lot faster lines…
I am convenced if someone tried to highjack a plane with a box cutter or some other sharp object, whatever they used would get shoved so far up their back side that the highjacker would have to cough it out.
Michael Rosenblum April 05, 2010
I agree. When 9/11 happened the rule for passengers was to sit quietly and wait to get off in Cuba or Libya. Today, the passengers would collectively beat the living crap out of anyone who tried to hijack a plane. that’s our best defense. As always.
Pat Younge April 05, 2010
Michael. I hope you have had a chance to recover. For what it’s worth I was barred from carrying some boxed up pottery wedding gift as hand luggage because clay is s prohibited substance and the box could have been used as a weapon (but not a pen or rucksack).
Actually this only happens on flights to the USA and even at the mighty Heathrow airport we have the second, everything out on the table scan just before the boarding gates. It’s ot surprising that small Caribbean islands take it a step further because they can’t afford to lose the airlift from the USA – from their governments point of view you could have been a TSA mystery shopper and so they’d see the heavy handed approach as economic protection.
Michael Rosenblum April 05, 2010
I have already gotten several emails and tweets from American Airlines. Just shows you the power of the blog! Have a great time in the Maldives!!!
Chris Kohatsu April 05, 2010
Michael – I think you should send this to the TSA Congressional Oversight Committee Chairs:
Sen. Jay Rockefeller
Communications Director: Jamie Smith (press@rockefeller.senate.gov)
Sen. Kay Bailey-Hutchison
Press Secretary: Jenilee Keefe (jenilee-keefe@commerce.senate.gov)
Martha Skinner April 05, 2010
If I am detained an hour for safety that’s fine with me. Personally I don’t think the safety rules are strict enough. The TSA in some airports do a good job – in others terrible. Orlando airport being absolutely a disgrace and each time I fly out of there I talk to a supervisor about what a terrible job they do.
I have flown American many times and haven’t encountered any of the
problems above.
Cathy Nagle-Ervin April 05, 2010
Yet another reason why NOT to fly with American Airlines Michael! Last August, I was flying home from O’Hare back to Toledo, Ohio. It was suppose to be a short flight home on a Friday afternoon. All the passengers passed TSA with zero issues or problems. Wait – it gets so much better! The first plane we boarded had mechanical issues and the pilots could not start one of the two engines. So after the mechanics put the ramp gate back up, spoke to the pilots and poked at the engine in question, AA decided to have us all debark and change planes. 45 minutes later, plane #2, while backing out of the gate had a indicator light come on, so again, back into the gate for more mechanic/pilot discussions. While in delay pattern #2, I politely asked the flight attendent if I could please leave and change planes. All I had was carry checked bagged at the bottom of the ramp. Surely this piece of luggage must be on the top of the pile in the cargo hold. Frankly it wasn’t that important to me if I got it back tonight or not. Just a bunch of dirty work clothes. I was told no that was not possible. Well, another hour later we were on our 3rd airplane because of mechanical issues. Made me wonder how many AA airplanes does it take to have one actually takeoff? Between switching plane #2 and #3, I told the gate attendant politely that I would not be reboarding. As, Jeff Foxworthy said, “Now there is your sign!”. Instead, I rented a car and drove back to Toledo. Actually beat my luggage home. The Ticket Counter Folks at Toledo know me very well and were wondering what the rest of the story must have been when I didn’t walk down the ramp that night. Gotta love it!
Ralph April 05, 2010
I am flying American today with similar trauma. I am convinced that they along with Continental have the worst customer service of any of the airlines. The TSA is really a sad joke. There is nothing that makes me feel safe when I look at the staff. We are in real trouble. I was patted down after showing my boarding pass. Why the touchy feel. I made sexual sounds and was rebuked harshly. It was fun.
Vanessa April 05, 2010
LMAO! Okay – give me a second to catch my breath – from laughing to hard! Sorry Michael, I don’t mean to laugh at your dilemma but please….really? Those security people are so off! What’s sad is that some yahoo “terrorist” or non-terrorist, whatever, decided to do something that changed the face of security. What’s sad is there are people flying on any airline with socks that will ignite to cause a fire, toothpaste looking containers that are actually MacGyver style explosive devices and even toys, that when all the pieces are put together turn into some sort of weapon of mass destruction. Even if you absolutely don’t ever take American Airlines anymore, I assure you there will be others in uniforms (United, US Airways, Delta, etc) that will be just like the yahoos you met this weekend. It’s just the way it is….sad but true….it’s just the way it is. Maybe the only way to get out of this problem is to purchase a private jet – but then you’ll run into other problems. Sad! But True!
Aaron April 05, 2010
It’s sad that the TSA’s mere existence makes a site like this necessary, but http://suitearrival.com/ sells packs of toiletries and ships them to your hotel ahead of your arrival.
Also, they should have told you that the only toiletries required to fit in your Freedom Baggie are *liquids.* If you put your razor, bar soap, nail clippers, and deodorant in your regular bag, you can fit a whole lot more in your Freedom Baggie.
And yes, I know how absurd it is that we even have to give advice like this in the name of “security.”